Caroline Wilson's Diary

What's New With Sadie?

  My novel is with my editor again.  But I did want to share this chapter with you.  It's copyrighted!!!

1943

    The spacious room at the Waldorf Astoria resembled something that Sadie had only dreamed about.  Silk draperies hung from nine foot windows.  The white art-deco furniture was accented with coco and red colored pillows.  Pauline walked to the telephone and dialed room service.  She slid off her mink stole, and black leather gloves. “Please sit.  We have a lot of catching up to do,” she said, smiling at Sadie. Pauline sat regal, yet commanding. 

          Sadie was unnerved by Pauline’s demeanor.  She shimmied off her coat and draped it over her arm.  As she was taught years ago by Alma Freeman, Sadie lowered herself into square backed wing chair.  She cleared her throat, and said, “Mrs. Billingsley, I didn’t know that I’d run into you or Talbot.  I came here with friends, and…”

          “Now dear, don’t worry.  I’m glad we ran into each other.  How is Leona?”

          Sadie’s hopes rocketed.  Maybe Pauline had changed.  Maybe she’d learn to accept that Leona was her granddaughter.  “She’s two now, and she keeps me busy.”  Feeling a bit comfortable, Sadie added, “She looks like you, and she’s…”

          A knock on the door drew Pauline away.  A white-gloved butler pushed in a serving tray, and prepared the white-linen table for lunch.  “Thank you, Richard.  Well, Sadie I hope you’re hungry because this hotel serves some of best food I’ve ever tasted.  Come let’s eat,” Pauline said. 

Richard helped them settle into their seats, and placed white, gold-rimmed saucers of cream of celery, and olive toasties in front of them.  Sadie eyed the French bread with its creamy, white, black and green topping.  “This looks delicious,” she offered.

 “Richard, why don’t you leave me and my guest alone.  We can serve ourselves.”  Richard stared hesitantly. “It’s okay.  I’ll call you when we’re finished.”  He nodded and retreated out the door.

Pauline rolled her eyes in delight as she crunched on the dish.  She dabbed the corner of her lips with a napkin and took a sip of water.  She removed the silver cover from the main course, and Sadie followed suit.  They sat quietly as they tossed crisp greens, apples, celery raisins, and walnuts on their plates. 

          “Mrs. Billingsley, thank you for inviting me to lunch.”

          “So how are the accommodations where you’re staying?”

          “They’re fine.  The house we’re staying in belongs to a friend of…”

          “…Dr. Nathaniel Cookman.”

          Sadie stopped chewing, and stared at Pauline.  “How do you know that?”

          Pauline flashed a sugary smile.  “Surely you’re not that foolish.  I figured that if you were brazen enough to shame your family; and brazen enough to tell me that you bore my son’s child that you’d do anything to destroy him.  And I told you before I would never let that happen.  Alma Freeman contacted me after you left.  She, along with the people that love you are desperate to find you.  I figured you’d come to D.C.  So from the moment I heard of your visit to my son at the school board, I’ve had you followed.  I know you’re staying in the home of that wretched Nelson woman.  It’s also where you and Talbot have been meeting while I was in Europe.”

          Sadie gulped down a glass of water.  Her voice quivered as she spoke,  “I’m over Talbot.  He made it perfectly clear that he wants nothing to do with me or Leona.”

          Pauline took a sipped of tea.  “I know that too.”  Her thin smile chilled Sadie.  “The money that’s provided to keep you from dirtying your already soiled hands comes from my bank account.  Oh, don’t look at me like that.  I confronted my son about his continued indiscretion with the likes of you.” 

Suddenly, Sadie felt like a dirty whore.  Her heart sank as she listened to Pauline. 

“But I didn’t have to convince Talbot to end the affair, because once his wife informed him that he would be a father, my son knew what had to be done.”

          Heat rose to Sadie’s face.  She didn’t deserve Pauline’s venom.  “If my hands are soiled, it’s because of your lying son.  I’m not afraid of you Pauline Billingsley.  You know the more I think about it, I believe you have more to lose than me.  What would it do to your precious name if I changed your granddaughter’s name to Billingsley?  What if I told all of your high-society friends, and your precious daughter-in-law about Talbot’s black daughter?”

          Pauline released a deep throaty laugh.  “You’re foolish, but not stupid.  Sadie, let me enlighten you to something that you should never forget.  My money and name reach far beyond Washington, D.C. and Bishop County.  If you ever breathe a word that Leona is Talbot’s daughter, I’ll make sure that you end up right back in the tobacco fields, and shack where you belong.”

          It was Sadie’s turn to laugh.  She stood and paced the room.  “That will never happen because I see things differently. I was the young silly girl that believed Talbot Billingsley wanted my help in educating our poor Negroes.  I followed him because I believed in him.  And…and then he raped me leaving me in shame and with his half white daughter.” 

          Dishes clanked as Pauline rose from the table.  She walked past Sadie to the telephone, snatching it off the hook.  Within a few seconds of tapping the hook and connecting with the switchboard, Pauline had made her connection.  “This is Pauline Billingsley.  I’m well.  Thanks for asking.  The reason for my call is that I understand George Reynolds is looking to buy seeds, and equipment on credit.”  She was silent for a moment.  “Yes, I know he’s been a long-time customer, but I don’t believe he’s credit worthy, and we do have to be careful who we offer credit.”

Sadie rushed to the phone and slammed her hand against the hook.  Staring into Pauline’s menacing eyes, she said, “How can you be so cruel?  That’s my family you’re trying to destroy.”

“It’s up to you how this plays out.”

Feeling defeated, Sadie sighed, “Okay, I won’t ever tell.”

Pauline grabbed Sadie’s coat and wrapped it around her shoulders.  “I’m glad we’ve come to this understanding.  By the way, if you think that maybe you should contact my daughter-in-law, I’d advice you against it.  As all the women in our family have, she’ll find out about Leona eventually.  And like the other women in our history, she’ll forgive Talbot because she likes the power of the Billingsley name.  To show you that I’m not as mean-spirited as you may think, I’m going to increase your monthly stipend for Leona’s care.  Now, hurry dear the car is waiting to take you back to Harlem.”

Luke 1:37-38 -- Question of the Day

Recently, I've been spending so much time being busy that I haven't been spending quality time with my Lord and Savior.  Oh, and I've been suffering the consequences.  As much as I like to keep you updated on my novels, ventings, and just things in general, I'm reminded that I must feast on the Word of God.  And because I like to share, I'd like to share Luke 1:37-38 with you this morning.

When God speaks something into our lives will we be like Mary?  There's no doubting, no questions.  It's simply, Be it unto me as you have spoken.

What Do You Think About This Chapter

Okay, I'm still at it.  I just can't seem to finish my novel.  I'm on draft # 999,999.  Tell me what you think about this Chapter.  This is the middle of the book.  Sadie finds out the truth about the man she loves.  It's 1944.  She's left SC and is living in DC

It's a draft.  Copyrighted, etc. etc.

Depression was Sadie’s comfort, a dark hole of nothing.  It covered her like a warm blanket.  She had no concept of days, time, or events.  She slept some, ate little, held Leona less, and lay in bed until sleep took her back into darkness.  For the first time in her life, she cherished the thought of dying.

The sound of footsteps and Carol’s bubbly voice scraped her already fragile nerves.   

            “Sadie, get up,” Carol ordered, pulling away the covers.  “It’s been two months.  I’m tired of coming over here and finding you like this.  Talbot Billingsley isn’t the only man in the world, and besides you have to worry about your babies.  Leona has been spending so much time with Aunt Dinah that she’s starting to call her mommy.  Now get up!”

            “No, I just want to die.  Leave me alone.”  Her voice was raspy from lack of moisture.  “I loved him, and he lied.”

            “Well dear, what did you expect?  That’s what men do – they lie.  Now get up,” Flora stated as she drew back the curtains.

            Even the bright sunrays had been a part of their conspiracy to bring her out of the abyss.  Carol moved through the room, picking up the clothes that littered the floor.  “Sadie, you’re going to eat today if I have to force feed you myself.”   

            Without any strength to protest, Sadie shook her head.  Finally, she whispered, “He’s got to love me.”

            Carol cupped her hands on her hips, and stared at Sadie in disbelief. “Sadie you’re talking cr…”

            “It’s not crazy,” Sadie screamed. 

            “Sadie, I’m calling daddy...”

“No,” Sadie said.  “No.  I just need to…”

“…to wash and fix yourself up.  You look a mess and you smell worse,” Flora added. 

She’d had enough.  “Get out!  Just get out!” The viciousness in her voice made Carol back away. 

Flora returned the assault with a stoned-face glare.  She then looked at Carol and said in her sweetest voice, “Sweetie, why don’t you go on home.  I’ll take care of her.”

“But, I’m worried about her and…”

“Now, don’t you worry.  I promise you I’ll make sure she’s fine.”              

            Sadie pulled the covers over her head, and listened to Carol retreat up the stairs.

Flora snatched the spread off of Sadie, and said through clenched teeth.  “You have ten minutes to clean yourself up and get upstairs, or I’ll contact the asylum and tell them to pick you up.” She stormed from the room with as much malice as her words. 

Sadie sat on the side of the bed for a few moments and then traipsed into the bathroom.  She stared at her reflection in the mirror.  Her eyes were drawn and her skin sallow.  The collar of her gown was dingy, and her hair was matted in a tangled mess.  

She opened the faucets of the bathtub and filled it with steaming hot water.  She didn’t flinch as she stepped inside.  Hoping to scour away the coats of shame and hurt that Talbot Billingsley had left her with, she lathered the washcloth and scrubbed her face, arms, and legs until they were raw.

Thank Ya Jesus for Confirmation

I dragged myself into the hair salon around 7:30pm tonight.  I needed a change.  Needed to get my hair did.  Um hm. 

As Mary distributed the color through my full mane to cover the one strand of gray that I found, I thought, "This is different.  Two colors.  More of one color than I preferred, but it looks nice."

And then, the storm.  The worst storm of the season pummels us. I leave the salon thinking, my "do" is going to get "undid".   Driving is dangerous.  I pray.  I repent.  I pray.  You never know, this could be that great getting up morning (even though it was 9:00pm).  I see several cars pull over, so me being the smart girl that I am I pull over too.

As I sat in my car, in the parking lot of the a convenience store, I saw it just as clear as day.  It's the confirmation that I've been waiting for.  Even through the worst storm, I could see it clearly.  Confirmation, right?

I look at the object of my affection and smile.  I admit, it has been the object of my desire for the  past four years.  I roll down the window.  Rain drenches the interior of my Honda Accord, but I don't care.  I stare in awe.  Drool falls from the corner of my mouth.

Wow!

"Thank Ya Jesus for confirmation," I whisper.  I feel my tongue start to roll -- and then the utterance."  Only God and Holy Spirit knew what I said.

Oh, you want to know what I'm gawking at, right?  My dream car.  A sleek, stylish, BMW 650i.  It was the convertible.

The driver rolls down his window, and he had the she's-hitting-on-me-look.

I said to myself, "The Devil is a liar.  Dude, I can't even tell what you look like, but your car is the finest piece of machinery I've ever seen.  With my new "do", I'd sure look good in your car.  Without you,"  I add.

I should take this as confirmation  that God wants me to have that car.  I see it once a day, I know He knows that I'll look good in it.

However, as spiritual as I'm trying to make this, I'm going to wait for more confirmation.  Like the 80K to pay for the finest piece of machinery that I've ever seen.

But in the meantime, I'm just going to say, when I see it, "Thank Ya Jesus for confirmation."

She Gets On My Nerves

Who in the world is the automated voice lady?

Why do I ask?  Because she gets on my last nerves -- I mean the black one.

Why is it that every time I call a company she answers the phone? 

Who the heck is she? 

Does she ever go home?

Does she have a husband -- a family?

She tells me to speak my response, but her automated technology doesn't understand a word I say.

"Ms. Automated Voice Lady, you're getting on my nerves,"  I scream.  "Get me a representative."

Finally, she responds, "I'm sorry -- I didn't understand your response.  Please call back at another time."

Click!  Silence!  Dial Tone.

I pause and give that I-know-you-didn't-just-hang-up-on-me look.

It should have put the fear of God in her, but she doesn't care.  She's automated.

I can't stand her.  She gets on my nerves.