Caroline Wilson's Diary

What Next? I Feel Faint. I See Stars

Oooooo! The stress of it all. 

The last week has been devastating for me -- Then again, I can get quite dramatic. 

Okay, it started with my decision to start paying my mortgage on-line.  Well, I'm a busy woman and things have to move fast for me, even the Internet.  That's what my Internet provider promised.  So there I am being a big girl.  I input all the information necessary so my mortgage can be deducted from my bank account.   

What happened?  The Internet was moving slow, so I hit the submit button again. Now, I'm a person that carries all of .75 cents with me at all times.  So I continue to make all my purchases with my debit card.

What happened next?  I go to my favorite restaurant for dinner, and my card is declined.  "What?" I said to my favorite server.  "I ran it twice," he responded.  He had the she's-suffering-from-the-recession or she's-trifling-and-knew-there-wasn't-a-dime-in-her-account look on his face.  In other words, it looked bad.

Somethings wrong, I think.  I've been robbed!  Identity theft!  Call the cops!  So I contact my bank and I found out what's wrong.  My mortgage has been debited from my account twice. 

I feel faint.  I see stars. 

I tell the automated voice lady to transfer money from my savings account because I've debited, paid bills, wrote my tithes check, etc.  The automated voice lady informs me that ALL the money in savings has been transferred to cover the funds that were coming in. 

I feel faint!  I see stars.  Bile begins to rush to my throat.

Next, I go to church and listen to a wonderful sermon.  I'm driving home thinking that God really wants us to know the tricks of the enemy. 

What next?  I'm driving along, and one of MD's finest stops me.  He looks to be all of 13-years-old.  "Your tags are suspended for failure to complete emissions," he says.  "What?" I respond.  He gives me the she's-trifling-and-knew-her-emissions-wasn't-done look. 

Well, Officer 13-year-old decided to write me a ticket.  I couldn't call him a rat bastard because he's a real person, and God would not have liked it.  Also, Officer 13-year-old would have probably turned his camera off, shot me, and then said I reached for his gun.  It would have been too much drama for my family.  So I look at him with my doe eyes and say, "OMG!  I really didn't get the notice." 

That didn't work!

What's next?  Mama will be here Friday.  I haven't cleaned my house yet.

I feel faint!  I see stars.

It Was No Surprise To The Doctor -- But It Devastasted Me

I make my quarterly visit to the doctor yesterday because it's time for refills on allergy medicine, etc.  I get there and the nurse practitioner says to me, "Let's take your weight".

I look at her like her and her 20-something figure, and I wanted to respond, "Not only can you take my weight, you can have it."  But the obedient woman that I'm trying to be complies.

Why did I do that?  I know deep in my heart, somewhere in there, in my gut that the scale would lie.  Okay, the heart knows the truth, but at that moment I wanted to exchange my heart for my mind.  You can make the mind believe anything.

I step on the scale and watch the number roll pass the number I was at about six years ago, and then it rolled pass the number that I was at four years ago. 

OMG!  It passed the number I was at last year.

I screamed, "STOP!  You rat bastard."  Okay, I know it wasn't nice, but remember the scale is a machine -- it's not a real person so you really don't hurt its feelings when you yell at it.

Finally it stops.  I feel nauseous, and then I see black dots dance before my eyes.  I felt faint.  And then the doctor delivers some news.

NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT.  Just overweight.

What Happened To The Day....Back In The Day We Didn't...

Another one that has me scratching my head. 

I was at an event a few days ago, and an incident happened.  It had me stunned.  I mean my mouth dropped open.  What happened to our sweet children that knew better than to talk back to mama?  Or, address adults as if they were talking to one of their teenage friends?

So there I was having a conversation with an adult. It wasn't one of those conversations that required the opinion or the presence of a child.  Just to be clear when I say child, I mean 18 and under.  The child decided that she wanted to interrupt the conversation, and throw in her five cents (it used to be 2 cents, but with inflation and all...) and with attitude, mind you.  What did I do?  I stand there with my mouth open.  The mother's response, "Ignore her," and she proceeds to have this adult conversation that this child shouldn't be hearing.

What did I say?  "We'll talk later."

Question:  What happened to the day when children stayed in their places?

Here's another one.  I watch our young girls banter back and forth with their parents as if they're grown.  Some even curse, or roll their necks, or bob their heads, and suck their teeths.

Question:  When did children start getting away this?  If I dared walk past my mother and sucked my teeth, I'd require back surgery.

Here's another one.  Have you seen The Total Transformation commercial on CNN?

Are you struggling with a child who is disrespectful, obnoxious or even abusive toward you? Are you frustrated and exhausted from arguing constantly? Do you "walk on eggshells" around your child, avoiding conflicts that will "set him off?" Have you tried screaming, punishing, pleading, and negotiating and your child still walks all over you?

Question:  Does this baffle anyone besides me?

Here's another one. Have you ever been in a public place and you see children falling out?  I mean laying on the floor.  The parent stands and negotiates with the child.

Question:  When did the child decide that it was going to rule and regulate?

You see, back in the day my parents didn't allow such behavior.  They practiced what's nowadays called child abuse.  You got whacked in the mouth for talking back.  You were told to stay in a child's place.  You fell out one time and they'd fall out with you.  Once you got off the ground, there was no more falling out.  When mama said stop.  She didn't have to say it over and over again.  And daddy, he didn't have to say a word - he just gave you a look.

Question:  Does anyone have any comments to this?

 

Lehman, J. "Home." The Total Transformation Program. 14 May 2009 <http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?dsource=googlegenhome3&gclid=CIO9ktf7u5oCFVaF7Qodcxeubw>.

I Was Just Being Auntie

This was a big weekend for my nieces, Lexi and Courtni.  Lexi, the oldest, was going to her prom.  She and about 17 of her friends pooled their money together and rented limos.  The point of embarkation -- my brother's house.  So that meant lots of household chores. 

Courtni, the youngest, plays AAU basketball (I hope I'm saying this right.  I know nothing about b-ball).  I told my brother and sister-in-law (Mike & Terri) that I'd take Courtni to her games while they got the house ready for Lexi, and her friends, and their families.

I'm at Courtni's game watching her fly through the air like Michael Jordan.  Of course you know I acted a fool.  In the middle of the game, Courtni calls a time out.  She needed her inhaler.  So she ran to her bag, pulled it out and then took a couple of puffs.  I ran over to the bench in the middle of court action and asked, "You okay, baby?"

Courtni's response -- a death glare.  "Auntie, you can't run on the court!  Get off!"

I was stunned.  How was I supposed to know that I couldn't run on the court to check on Auntie's baby.  I'm just being Auntie for crying out loud!

Throughout the game, the poor child took a beating.  She fell, was stepped on, and re-injured her ankle.  I'm being held back by the other parents who say, "It's okay.  She's not dead."

Have they lost their minds? That's my little Court-Court -- all 5'7" of her.  I wanted to take her in my arms and rock her.  Why couldn't she do the ballet thing?

Is this why she doesn't tell me when her games are?

Okay game is over!  We head back to Mike's, and Jaqi (the fashionista -- I Can Do All Things Through Christ) -- yeah that Jaqi -- is doing Lexi's make up. 

I gasp!  She was just a baby yesterday.  How can she be getting ready for a prom? I ask myself.  I start tearing up.  She gives me the death glare, and says, "Auntie, get out!  Don't start crying!"

I pull myself together and we help her get ready.  I hold back the tears and wonder why isn't her parents ready to tear up.  Then I figured it out, they were too busy making sure Lexi's evening went perfect. 

The whole weekend was beautiful and it was the best weekend an Auntie can have.