What Happened To The Day....Back In The Day We Didn't...

Another one that has me scratching my head. 

I was at an event a few days ago, and an incident happened.  It had me stunned.  I mean my mouth dropped open.  What happened to our sweet children that knew better than to talk back to mama?  Or, address adults as if they were talking to one of their teenage friends?

So there I was having a conversation with an adult. It wasn't one of those conversations that required the opinion or the presence of a child.  Just to be clear when I say child, I mean 18 and under.  The child decided that she wanted to interrupt the conversation, and throw in her five cents (it used to be 2 cents, but with inflation and all...) and with attitude, mind you.  What did I do?  I stand there with my mouth open.  The mother's response, "Ignore her," and she proceeds to have this adult conversation that this child shouldn't be hearing.

What did I say?  "We'll talk later."

Question:  What happened to the day when children stayed in their places?

Here's another one.  I watch our young girls banter back and forth with their parents as if they're grown.  Some even curse, or roll their necks, or bob their heads, and suck their teeths.

Question:  When did children start getting away this?  If I dared walk past my mother and sucked my teeth, I'd require back surgery.

Here's another one.  Have you seen The Total Transformation commercial on CNN?

Are you struggling with a child who is disrespectful, obnoxious or even abusive toward you? Are you frustrated and exhausted from arguing constantly? Do you "walk on eggshells" around your child, avoiding conflicts that will "set him off?" Have you tried screaming, punishing, pleading, and negotiating and your child still walks all over you?

Question:  Does this baffle anyone besides me?

Here's another one. Have you ever been in a public place and you see children falling out?  I mean laying on the floor.  The parent stands and negotiates with the child.

Question:  When did the child decide that it was going to rule and regulate?

You see, back in the day my parents didn't allow such behavior.  They practiced what's nowadays called child abuse.  You got whacked in the mouth for talking back.  You were told to stay in a child's place.  You fell out one time and they'd fall out with you.  Once you got off the ground, there was no more falling out.  When mama said stop.  She didn't have to say it over and over again.  And daddy, he didn't have to say a word - he just gave you a look.

Question:  Does anyone have any comments to this?

 

Lehman, J. "Home." The Total Transformation Program. 14 May 2009 <http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?dsource=googlegenhome3&gclid=CIO9ktf7u5oCFVaF7Qodcxeubw>.

Comments

[Charlie]

I don't think it was so decisive that you got whacked in the mouth. What was decisive is that parents were around, a lot, other adults were around, and children weren't out of adult eye and ear shot very much. The best behaved children I've met were the only child surrounded by about ten adults. They had no chance to be anything BUT good, and it didn't take hard knocks. A lot of kids now spend a lot of their time learning from nobody but each other, and supervised by nobody but "the group." Surprise! Socializing a child takes total immersion. Because there were higher standards when children got a lot more adult presence, sheer insolence was so unheard of and off the wall that you were likely to get socked in the mouth. Modern kids would wonder what in the world this adult is upset about anyway.

I've seen a lot of kids who, if you tell them they owe respect to anyone, of any age, or that there are rules to follow, it simply doesn't compute. They're not being bad. They haven't a clue. Partly that is because in 1996, the government decided mom should go to work when the youngest child was two years old. Now, everyone is moaning about "why aren't the kids being supervised?" Because, mama is at work.

If we are honest about "the good old days," they weren't all that good, as Moms Mabley said in our good old days about HER good old days. Adults can be totally erratic and self-serving about what they sock a kid in the mouth for. That produces another kind of delinquent. But our culture doesn't really value children, not real live flesh and blood children who take twenty years to raise. If we did, we would make sure that parents can each work 20-30 hours a week and still afford a mortgage on a three bedroom house, so BOTH parents spend a good deal of time with the kids. Then we need to bring back gramndma.

Sorry to be so long-winded, but a sometime passenger on my paratransit route told me his grandmother in New York saw some boys jump an adult man, take his wallet, and were about to run off when she stepped out on the porch, firmly instructing them to return his wallet and wait right there while she called the police. They did exactly that. Why? "NOBODY messed with Miss Odetta!" We need more grandmothers like that.

[Bigsis@aol.com]

You are so funny! I know what you mean!