What Next? I Feel Faint. I See Stars

Oooooo! The stress of it all. 

The last week has been devastating for me -- Then again, I can get quite dramatic. 

Okay, it started with my decision to start paying my mortgage on-line.  Well, I'm a busy woman and things have to move fast for me, even the Internet.  That's what my Internet provider promised.  So there I am being a big girl.  I input all the information necessary so my mortgage can be deducted from my bank account.   

What happened?  The Internet was moving slow, so I hit the submit button again. Now, I'm a person that carries all of .75 cents with me at all times.  So I continue to make all my purchases with my debit card.

What happened next?  I go to my favorite restaurant for dinner, and my card is declined.  "What?" I said to my favorite server.  "I ran it twice," he responded.  He had the she's-suffering-from-the-recession or she's-trifling-and-knew-there-wasn't-a-dime-in-her-account look on his face.  In other words, it looked bad.

Somethings wrong, I think.  I've been robbed!  Identity theft!  Call the cops!  So I contact my bank and I found out what's wrong.  My mortgage has been debited from my account twice. 

I feel faint.  I see stars. 

I tell the automated voice lady to transfer money from my savings account because I've debited, paid bills, wrote my tithes check, etc.  The automated voice lady informs me that ALL the money in savings has been transferred to cover the funds that were coming in. 

I feel faint!  I see stars.  Bile begins to rush to my throat.

Next, I go to church and listen to a wonderful sermon.  I'm driving home thinking that God really wants us to know the tricks of the enemy. 

What next?  I'm driving along, and one of MD's finest stops me.  He looks to be all of 13-years-old.  "Your tags are suspended for failure to complete emissions," he says.  "What?" I respond.  He gives me the she's-trifling-and-knew-her-emissions-wasn't-done look. 

Well, Officer 13-year-old decided to write me a ticket.  I couldn't call him a rat bastard because he's a real person, and God would not have liked it.  Also, Officer 13-year-old would have probably turned his camera off, shot me, and then said I reached for his gun.  It would have been too much drama for my family.  So I look at him with my doe eyes and say, "OMG!  I really didn't get the notice." 

That didn't work!

What's next?  Mama will be here Friday.  I haven't cleaned my house yet.

I feel faint!  I see stars.

Comments

[BigSis]

Girl, you are so funny! That's a lot to go through! Are you okay now? I know our Father is keeping you! He has you in his bosom - always and forever!

One thing though, if they keep the extra payment, make sure your mortgage company applies the extra payment to your next month's mortgage payment -- and not to the principal! I had something like that happen to me!

[FB]

you are certifiably retarded... and what is your obsession with the term "rat bastard"??... lol...girl, you made me weak with those last two blogs... help her, Lord...

[Shoe Girl]

Caroline, I LOVE you. Girl, your stories, I can't even type this message because I'm laughing so hard...but they have me ROLLING. When are you going to do your stand-up act? My chest hurting, I feel faint and I'm seeing stars b/c I'm laughing so hard. :-) I led Bible Study on Wednesday and it was titled "It's Not About Me-It's About Jesus." That message would have really had you feeling faint and seeing stars after the week you had because I know you had to be convinced that it was all about you!

Keep em' coming. I just laughed an extra 5 years to my life--laughter is indeed good for the soul.

Love you and have a good evening. See you Sunday!