It Was No Surprise To The Doctor -- But It Devastasted Me

I make my quarterly visit to the doctor yesterday because it's time for refills on allergy medicine, etc.  I get there and the nurse practitioner says to me, "Let's take your weight".

I look at her like her and her 20-something figure, and I wanted to respond, "Not only can you take my weight, you can have it."  But the obedient woman that I'm trying to be complies.

Why did I do that?  I know deep in my heart, somewhere in there, in my gut that the scale would lie.  Okay, the heart knows the truth, but at that moment I wanted to exchange my heart for my mind.  You can make the mind believe anything.

I step on the scale and watch the number roll pass the number I was at about six years ago, and then it rolled pass the number that I was at four years ago. 

OMG!  It passed the number I was at last year.

I screamed, "STOP!  You rat bastard."  Okay, I know it wasn't nice, but remember the scale is a machine -- it's not a real person so you really don't hurt its feelings when you yell at it.

Finally it stops.  I feel nauseous, and then I see black dots dance before my eyes.  I felt faint.  And then the doctor delivers some news.

NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT.  Just overweight.

Comments

[Caroline]

Thanks Charlie! But the clothes don't lie :-)

[Charlie]

I've been waiting for someone else to answer this one, but when I saw you last month, you did not look overweight to me. In 18th century France, you would have had to put on 50 more pounds to be considered the height of beauty. Ditto for Samoa, where the heavier a man or woman is, the more beautiful everyone thinks they look -- but it is supposed to be well proportioned healthy growth. Don't worry about it. I have a 90 year old National Geographic with ads for beauty aids that help you gain weight to you don't look scrawny.