The Epiphany: The Devil Is A Liar

Have you seen Annie Lee's Blue Monday?  Well here it is!

Okay, what's the story? You ask.  Well, if you read the last post, you know that I have a favorite restaurant.  For those of you who know me, it's the P---.  Yeah! That one.  Why is it my favorite?  Because....ummmmm....I'm a 20 year veteran of this place, and they have the best Italian food this side of the River Jordan. I eat there at least once a week.  It's gotten so bad that every time I walk into the place they seat me in the same place -- in the corner where I can still hear the conversations, and read whatever book that doesn't make me look like the lonely eater.  I get kissed by every server, and the owners (I like that).  They already know what I'm going to order.  I''ll surprise them one day.

Okay, stop the she's still eating out after the debacle last month, and with the bad economy.  Well, if you're single --I mean unmarried as my sister, Jaqi, would say --then eating out doesn't require you to worry about what you have to put on the George Foreman Grill for dinner, or what can be microwaved so late in the evening.  Besides, I work late and....I don't know.  It's easier to have someone cook for you!  SO DON'T JUDGE ME!

Well, tonight the restaurant was full of young couples, gazing into each others eyes and saying things that I haven't heard since Mary birthed Jesus. 

I begin to feel self-conscious.  Why are they staring at me?  "Rat bastards need to mind their business."

"Jesus, where'd that come from," I think.  "They're real people.  They're not rat bastards.  Forgive me, Lord."

And then I realized that I allowed Satan to  put the picture of Annies Lee's Blue Monday in my head. I imagined myself in another 20 years -- the old hag with breasts hanging down to her ankles (okay, Annie Lee's character doesn't depict the breast thing, but she's smaller than me), gray hair, sitting in the corner,eating the same thing, alone, and all the patrons wonder why she's eating alone again.

Oh, but GOD!  He gave me an epiphany.   I said He gave me an epipppphhhhhannnnyyyy!

The Devil is a Liar straight from the pits of hell.  I'm not that Annie Lee character -- I only look like her when I wake up most mornings...Okay, I've given up lying.  I look like her every morning, but nobody sees me.

I encourage myself and think of those young couples looking at me..."They're just jealous because I'm getting all the attention from the cute servers and owners. They don't know what I look like in the morning.   Heeeeeyyyyyyy!" 

And I say to my servers, "What time can I expect my hug and kisses next week.  They say, "Whenever you come in."

Comments

[Prolificlady]

Caroline, you have done it again! I'm in stiches reading this. Sitting under the hair dryer cracking up and people are staring at me. Oh well! if they only knew such a prolific writer as I do they would be laughing too!

Keep em' coming. I truly am enjoying reading your diary.

God bless you, unmarried, but definitely temporary, virtuous woman of God!

[BigSis]

Hey girl!

Yes he is a liar! Hey, what's the favorite dish? Okay, you don't have to tell me! LOL

But you'd better enjoy every tranquil moment and every undisturbed mouthful in every prepared-by-somebody-else (my favorite part!) bite!
Love you!