What Do You Think About This Chapter

Okay, I'm still at it.  I just can't seem to finish my novel.  I'm on draft # 999,999.  Tell me what you think about this Chapter.  This is the middle of the book.  Sadie finds out the truth about the man she loves.  It's 1944.  She's left SC and is living in DC

It's a draft.  Copyrighted, etc. etc.

Depression was Sadie’s comfort, a dark hole of nothing.  It covered her like a warm blanket.  She had no concept of days, time, or events.  She slept some, ate little, held Leona less, and lay in bed until sleep took her back into darkness.  For the first time in her life, she cherished the thought of dying.

The sound of footsteps and Carol’s bubbly voice scraped her already fragile nerves.   

            “Sadie, get up,” Carol ordered, pulling away the covers.  “It’s been two months.  I’m tired of coming over here and finding you like this.  Talbot Billingsley isn’t the only man in the world, and besides you have to worry about your babies.  Leona has been spending so much time with Aunt Dinah that she’s starting to call her mommy.  Now get up!”

            “No, I just want to die.  Leave me alone.”  Her voice was raspy from lack of moisture.  “I loved him, and he lied.”

            “Well dear, what did you expect?  That’s what men do – they lie.  Now get up,” Flora stated as she drew back the curtains.

            Even the bright sunrays had been a part of their conspiracy to bring her out of the abyss.  Carol moved through the room, picking up the clothes that littered the floor.  “Sadie, you’re going to eat today if I have to force feed you myself.”   

            Without any strength to protest, Sadie shook her head.  Finally, she whispered, “He’s got to love me.”

            Carol cupped her hands on her hips, and stared at Sadie in disbelief. “Sadie you’re talking cr…”

            “It’s not crazy,” Sadie screamed. 

            “Sadie, I’m calling daddy...”

“No,” Sadie said.  “No.  I just need to…”

“…to wash and fix yourself up.  You look a mess and you smell worse,” Flora added. 

She’d had enough.  “Get out!  Just get out!” The viciousness in her voice made Carol back away. 

Flora returned the assault with a stoned-face glare.  She then looked at Carol and said in her sweetest voice, “Sweetie, why don’t you go on home.  I’ll take care of her.”

“But, I’m worried about her and…”

“Now, don’t you worry.  I promise you I’ll make sure she’s fine.”              

            Sadie pulled the covers over her head, and listened to Carol retreat up the stairs.

Flora snatched the spread off of Sadie, and said through clenched teeth.  “You have ten minutes to clean yourself up and get upstairs, or I’ll contact the asylum and tell them to pick you up.” She stormed from the room with as much malice as her words. 

Sadie sat on the side of the bed for a few moments and then traipsed into the bathroom.  She stared at her reflection in the mirror.  Her eyes were drawn and her skin sallow.  The collar of her gown was dingy, and her hair was matted in a tangled mess.  

She opened the faucets of the bathtub and filled it with steaming hot water.  She didn’t flinch as she stepped inside.  Hoping to scour away the coats of shame and hurt that Talbot Billingsley had left her with, she lathered the washcloth and scrubbed her face, arms, and legs until they were raw.

Comments

[Dissertation Abstract]

Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!

[Charlie]

Sister Caroline, my friend Renee says that Sadie needs to either hit this man over the head with a frying pan, or seriously maim the woman (or man for all we know) who distracted his attention and his hormones.

I think Flora is closer to the truth. Talbot Billingsley obviously isn't worth shedding half a tear over. Forget about the little cretin.

But its a well written dialog.